Chris Redfield Rock Puncher
by Waifuman
Summary: Chris Redfield and the gang have been accepted into the Oroboros Peak Academy. But this school is not as it seems, for they have been thrown into a school life of mutual killing. Can Chris Redfield and Co. survive this horror? With his rock punching powers, anything is possible.
1. Oroboros Peak Academy

In the Arklay Mountains near Raccoon City a school has been staitoned for many years. This school has a reputation for being the most prestigous school in the United States, with its' students who graduate going onto leading extremely wealthy and prosperous lives in their respective fields. We meet our hero, Chris Redfield, who just received his invite to the school. He opens up the letter and reads it to himself.

"Dr. Mr. Redfield

Your skills as a rock puncher have gotten our attention. You are now invited to come attend T-Abyss high stationed in the Arklay Mountains. Please accept our invitation. We hope to see you there soon"

Soon, the day came, and we found our hero in the school, heading off towards the foyer to meet with his soon to be class-mates.

As he entered the foyer, the first one that caught his eye, was a boy his age. The boy approached him and his hair managed to stay somehow perfectly in place no matter how he moved.

The boy spoke, "About time you showed up. You're the last one here, so you must be the Super high-school level Rock Puncher"

Chris replied, "Wha? How did you know?"

Leon spoke up again, "Because everyone else is already here, and none of them can bust down the rock blocking the entrance into the rest of the building." He began to walk back to the group, "Come on, let's go. The name's Leon, by the way."

Chris responded, "Chris."

Leon spoke up again, "Alright, let's go, Chris."

Chris followed up behind him and walked up to the boulder where a girl was standing. She spoke up, "Hey there, I'm Rebecca! You must be the Rock Puncher. I'm the Super High-School Level Medic, so if you hurt yourself, don't worry, I'll patch you right up in a flash!"

Chris got into position and was all ready to punch that rock when all of a sudden he saw from the corner of his eyes, a man in leather, concealed in dark shades mystery, staring him down.

The man spoke up, "Show us what you've got, Chris!" The blonde man with the slicked back hair smirked.

The two men, stared each other down for a few moments.

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Chris looked away and readied himself to punch the rock. He punched the rock multiple times shoving an odd amount of might into the rock and then did some strange cross movements and managed to move the rock successfully.

One fine mamma jamma swayed slowly past Chris, the booty was tight as she moved through the new open doorway.

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She looked back towards Chris and said, "Good work, Chris. The name's Jill, maybe we can partner up sometime."

The rest of the people moved forward, and Chris followed quickly behind. They all moved towards the cafeteria and that's where they met their new headmaster.

He was old, really old, and on IVs. Shit this dude was old, he's probably going to die soon, surprised he isn't dead now. He might even get killed by one of the students. Shit, that would be tragic.

He spoke up, "Welcome children, I will be your headmaster. My name is Spencer." He got up out of his wheelchair. "Welcome to my school." He grabbed a PDA from his pockets. "You all each have specified rooms you will be staying in. In these rooms will be PDAs such as this one. The keys to your rooms will also be found inside your rooms. Each room will be labeled with your name on it."

BLAH BLAH BLAH, YOU KNOW THE RULES TO DANG ROPE, LET'S JUST SKIP IT ALREADY.

"It will soon be night time, so I suggest you get to your rooms," concluded Spencer. Everyone headed off to their rooms for the night. None of the children knew what was really in stake for them.


	2. The Opening to Resident Evil 5

"I'm Rebecca!" said Rebeccca excitedly at Chris.

"Yeah, I caught that" he said back to her. Chris ignored the crazy girl and moved on to his real objective, that fine dame Jill Valentine.

"Hey, don't I know you?" Jill said to Chris.

Chris got all flustered, JIll was the cutest girl in school back when they first met back at the police academy. Chris wore braces back then and was overall a total wreck. Chris nervously mumbled out, "Police academy." Chris' spaghetti stayed neatly folded in his pockets. He knew this was a good sign.

"Oh right!" Jill yelled out. "I remember you now! Pizza Face REdfield."

Chris blushed a little at this and nodded nervously.

Jill looked Chris up and down and said, "You look pretty good now though."

"Thanks" Chris said, frozen shy.

"We should team up in here. It would be nice to have a familiar face around."

Chris entered an intense state of euphoria at the idea of spending time with Jill. He instantly changed, like the flick of a switch, into a cooler, more confident Redfield. "Yeah, definitely. You can come by my room later. Or maybe I'll come to yours. No problem."

Jill winked and said, "Come by my room tonight then." before turning away.

Chris went on about his business as usual for the restof the day. Doing Chris things. Punching rocks, crying about all his dead friends. Usual stuff. Anyway when the night time announcement happened, Chris got on his Chris tuxedo to go meet Jill. When he got to the door he noticed it was slightly ajar. He knocked like a gentleman but when she never answered he did what any Chris would do and punched the door open.

There in front of him, on the bed, was Jill flattened under a piece of concrete. Chris punched the concrete, hoping it would free Jill but alas his punching magic only worked on rocks.

Chris went to go get help. He pulled Leon into the room, out of the hallway, and made him help lift the concrete. Chris and Leon made the ultimate team, definately worthy of being a team on RE6, too bad they weren't. Anyway they got the concrete off and the ding thing happened announcing the death so everyone went to Jill's room to see the body.

Chris was as heartbroken as when Yuri Lowenthall died in RE6.

When Barry came into the room and saw Jill on the bed his first words were, "Looks like we have ourselves a Jill sandwich." Everyone gave Barry a dirty look for that.

Monokuma arrived and was like "Okay, debate time." Everyone pointed the fingers at Chris but Chris was innocent and to prove his innocence he used Rebecca as a witness that he had a date. Everyone agreed that a guy cool enough to get a date wouldn't murder so they let it slide.

Everyone looked around the room and noticed the concrete was hard and heavy which made everyone accuse shirtless Wesker of being the culprit. And they were right so he was executed.

As it all came to a close Chris looked down and said, "More and more I find myself wondering it it's all worth fighting for."


	3. That Me Double Pistol

Leon was shining his double pistols, which he carries at all times. He accidentally pointed it at Piers and the gun went off. Piers died and Leon was executed.


	4. Giving Hope By Daylight

Hope was getting dim over at Uroboros Peak Academy. Chris was beginning to think all hope was lost when one of the metal windows was pried open.

On the other side was WWE Superstar John Cena. After prying the windowoff he put his head in and did his signature pose.

Behind him was Sailor Venus. The senshi said to everyone, "Like, hey guys. Have you met my totally fabu bo?"

Everyone was awestruck. Not only had they been saved by John Cena and Sailor Venus, but they were also dating. It was like a dream come true


End file.
